Lack of Respect?
It that what's missing?
I can't figure it out. Tonight is the first night Max and I have spent apart in a week. Not a bad thing. It has been an emotionally chaotic time and it's good to have some headspace.
He is spending the night at his ex-girlfriend, Anne's, apartment in the city. His own place is a bit of a commute, and whenever possible he likes to stay nearby work.
"Whoooooooa!" I hear you exclaim, "It doesn't sound to me like he is very committed."
But here's the thing. Anne is away on business more often than she is home. He has her keys and uses her apartment as a place to crash when she's not around. (He used to use it as a little more than a place to crash, but that's another story). I don't really care that he stays there when she's not there. It doesn't particularly thrill me, but I can handle it.
Tonight he claimed to be too tired to come over to my place. He was at Anne's and already sleeping. I had a bad feeling. The last time that we didn't spend the night together we had a huge blow up and went off to his lover Carolyn's place and fucked her - twice, he proudly told me.
Well, cut along story short..Max fell asleep early at Anne's place, but he woke up and went to have dinner wih Carolyn. He called to tell me this before going back to sleep, at Anne's, presumably on his own. No, I take that back. I know he is there on his own.
Still, it's a little fucked up no? I mean here we are, having just gotten back together, agreed on monogamy, a real desire to make this amazing relationship work, and a willingness to do the hard work to make it happen. But Max has to spend the night at his ex-girlfriend's apartment and have dinner with his lover - who he constantly reminds me that he is "very close to".
I really sound so insecure, and I am right now. For god's sake can't I have a grace period, just a little breather to not have to think about other women? As innocent as this dinner my have been, I really think it's inconsiderate and inappropriate.
What's your opinion? Am I an insecure clingy bitch or are is my disappointment and doubt valid?
I can't figure it out. Tonight is the first night Max and I have spent apart in a week. Not a bad thing. It has been an emotionally chaotic time and it's good to have some headspace.
He is spending the night at his ex-girlfriend, Anne's, apartment in the city. His own place is a bit of a commute, and whenever possible he likes to stay nearby work.
"Whoooooooa!" I hear you exclaim, "It doesn't sound to me like he is very committed."
But here's the thing. Anne is away on business more often than she is home. He has her keys and uses her apartment as a place to crash when she's not around. (He used to use it as a little more than a place to crash, but that's another story). I don't really care that he stays there when she's not there. It doesn't particularly thrill me, but I can handle it.
Tonight he claimed to be too tired to come over to my place. He was at Anne's and already sleeping. I had a bad feeling. The last time that we didn't spend the night together we had a huge blow up and went off to his lover Carolyn's place and fucked her - twice, he proudly told me.
Well, cut along story short..Max fell asleep early at Anne's place, but he woke up and went to have dinner wih Carolyn. He called to tell me this before going back to sleep, at Anne's, presumably on his own. No, I take that back. I know he is there on his own.
Still, it's a little fucked up no? I mean here we are, having just gotten back together, agreed on monogamy, a real desire to make this amazing relationship work, and a willingness to do the hard work to make it happen. But Max has to spend the night at his ex-girlfriend's apartment and have dinner with his lover - who he constantly reminds me that he is "very close to".
I really sound so insecure, and I am right now. For god's sake can't I have a grace period, just a little breather to not have to think about other women? As innocent as this dinner my have been, I really think it's inconsiderate and inappropriate.
What's your opinion? Am I an insecure clingy bitch or are is my disappointment and doubt valid?
posted by Flutterby @ Thursday, July 14, 2005
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